Mummy, I Faced My Fears

One of my objectives this year was to take Lilly on an overnight mountain adventure in the Alps.  We hired electric mountain bikes, cycled part-way up the mountain, left them at a mountain hut and continued on foot to the Wildseeloderhaus in the Austrian Alps, where we stayed overnight.

At seven, Lilly happily led the way up a red cycle trail on her mountain bike (I hadn't realised it was red until later - she got claps from those walking at the top).

Uphill was never the problem

Going uphill, it turns out, is her thing.

Going downhill is not.

The next day, faced with steep dirt tracks, loose gravel and a heavy, powerful electric mountain bike, she was frightened.

So for quite a while, we walked, pushing our bikes downhill in the heat. Not quite the effortless e-bike experience I'd envisaged. 😂

But gradually she started riding small sections again.

By the time we stopped at a mountain restaurant before the final descent, I could see her confidence returning.

What changed on the final descent

Then came the steep gravel mountain road with switchbacks.

Lilly went for it. She navigated the corners, controlled her speed and made it all the way down.

At the bottom she said:

"Mummy, I faced my fears. I told myself that I could stop on the corners. That's how I got down."

What struck me was that she hadn't stopped being frightened. She'd simply worked out what she could control.

She knew she could stop. That made starting feel possible.

The same words, a week later

But the part of this story I love most happened over a week later.

Lilly doesn't like walking downstairs alone. Normally she wants me following closely behind her.

This morning she did it by herself.

When she reached the bottom, she announced proudly:

"Mummy, I faced my fears."

Exactly the same words.

And it reminded me that when we overcome one fear, the neural network built in our brain gives us evidence that we're capable of overcoming another. The circumstances might be completely different, but we remember: I was frightened. I found a way through it. I did it.

Courage isn't about eliminating fear

It's about acknowledging that we're frightened, and finding a way to do it anyway.

It made me think about how often this happens in adult life too.

Starting a business requires you to face the possibility of failure. And as an entrepreneur, there are hundreds of moments that feel a little like riding downhill on loose gravel — you're not entirely sure what's going to happen, you don't feel completely in control, and turning around would probably feel easier.

But avoiding the hill doesn't make the fear disappear.

Sometimes we have to get on the bike and discover that we can navigate the corners.

Not a bad lesson to learn at seven. And a useful reminder for her mum too. ❤️

The question worth asking yourself

So, what are you avoiding doing because you're afraid?

And perhaps more importantly: what might happen if you decided to face that fear?

If there's something you've been circling for a while - in your business, your leadership, or just life - because it feels like loose gravel underfoot, that's exactly the kind of thing we work through together in coaching. I'd love to hear from you →