How to stop yourself from being a slave to your past

havening techniques list it out; emotions; trigger; go get help: cbt meditation mindfulness tapping Jan 15, 2021

When you spend your time stuck in your past pain, you can’t fully embrace the beauty and the opportunity of the present moment.

We all experience trauma at some point in our lives, whether that’s during our childhood, teenage years or adulthood. How we view that trauma and how much we hold onto the emotions, the feelings, the responses tied into that trauma in our present day affects us constantly.

If you are chained to your past pain, whatever that may be, and are unable to truly let go, it will always pull you back and prevent you from showing up as your best self, whether consciously or unconsciously.  

Our past hurts are like uncomfortable rocks in our rucksack of life. They weigh us down. Do you want to be weighed down with a rucksack of pain for your life, slowing you down and draining you of your energy and progress? 

I’m Dr Ruth Mary Allan. I’m a Certified Brain Health, High Performance Coach and Havening Techniques practitioner. I help leaders who have lost connection with their best self unchain their pain, unlock the secrets to greater mental clarity and performance and unleash their full potential to more effectively lead their family and team to that next level in life.

When I was told back in 2016 I had no emotional intelligence by the firm I was working for, it knocked me for six. I was already rock bottom having had a miscarriage and the words said to me both written and verbally cut like a knife through my heart. They affected me to the core. 

It wasn’t until 2020 that I was able to unchain myself from the pain that I had experienced and the previous pains related to it. That I was able to reflect on those events with a new perspective and let go, empowering myself to turn my pain into purpose.

So if you’re thinking you can’t let go from the times where you’ve been hurt, or where people have belittled you, where you’ve lost someone, or you’ve experienced a traumatic or unhelpful experience, what is it costing you - your relationships with those you care about, your emotional health, your ability to show up as your authentic self? 


So Here’s Three Steps You Can Take:

Step 1: List out first all the past pain that is affecting you in your present day.

It’s ok if you can’t actually write it down on paper - if you can’t, just put an x next to it and then write how that experience is making you feel. Think of this as a rucksack of uncomfortable rocks that you are constantly carrying around with you.

Step 2: List out how that past pain is affecting you in your present day:

What emotions it generates in you, what it causes you to do, how it causes you to behave, how it causes you to think.

If you’d like help with unchaining your pain, make sure you register for your free unleashed strategy call so we can find the best program for you.

Step 3: Ask yourself - am I willing to accept that pain in my present and future self?

Does my future self want that pain? Do I want to be holding on to that pain when I breath my last breath?


If you answered no to any of those questions, there is hope. If you’d like to find out how I can help you unchain yourself from your past pain so that you can let go and re-discover your best self again, register yourself for a free unleashed strategy session to find the best program for you.

If you’d like to learn more about Havening and how it can help you unchain yourself from your pain, click here.